So, lately I have been thinking about my brain... I think that everyone's brain works differently... well, I used to think everyone thought like me. I assumed that everyone saw colours when they heard music... I also assumed that when you think of years, they are in some kind of 3D map of years in your mind... I also consider 3 to be green and therefore, the best number of them all! 1 is red, 2 is blue... 4 is also blue... 5 is yellow.. and so on...
apparently this isn't the case... ( [read more] )

So, I figure I best catch you all up on whats been going on... its been an eventful few weeks! It's been Christmas, new years and bits in between! I'm gonna break it up into sections... I wish life was broken up into sections! It would make things easier... less fun, but easier...

So here we go...

Christmas

The week leading up to Christmas was surprisingly non-stressful... Usually I am struggling with money, freaking out and all that kind of stuff. But, to my surprise, I was calm and had plenty of money. I thank my quitting of smoking and drinking for that! Without those things in my life, I now save more than 50% of my money! I much prefer buying a cd to a pack of smokes these days...
One of the other reasons I was not stressed was that in the period of a week, I got to see ALL of my close friends and spend some time with them... It was one of those weeks that made you feel grateful to be alive, and I thank them all for that!
I got some wonderful gifts, I love each and every one of them. It doesn't matter what it is, I love it because it was given to me. I'm serious too... its not one of those bullshit 'its the thought that counts' things where you kinda hate it but want to appear 'nice' I seriously amd happy with any gift that I receive... I think growing up dirt poor taught me that... sometimes we couldn't afford to eat, and when Christmas rolled around, so did all the bills... mum and dad often had to turn to charity to get us gifts... One year we got our gifts from the wishing tree... we got things that we weren't really 'interested in' and we didn't ask Santa for these things... but we never got 'things' so, it was still very exciting!
So, heres to all of you that have decided to share themselves with me. I am happy you chose to hang with me! You make my life complete!

[Christmas photos]

New Years Eve

Also known as Sheree's birthday. Yep, she gets a party every year! This year was different to the other years... Growing up, it was more of the getting drunk and smoking too many cigarettes and generally running wild... This year we still ran wild, but we did so at a water park. I personally am not the 'water loving type' I prefer to stay dry and out of the sun... I dread the idea of showing any kind of 'skin' to complete strangers... I have scars on my legs from my past 'issues' and I burn like crazy... I managed to purchase something to wear that showed minimal skin... a rash vest and boardies. Red and black ones of course! Me in pink? not bloody likely!
I didnt think I was going to have as much fun as I did! I went down waterslides, wave pools, and other things... I went on this INSANE ride called the taipan SIX TIMES! which was a raft going down a steep winding tunnel. The downside of the day was the HOT CONCRETE which burnt my feet and the hills that you had to walk up to get to the fun rides!
The night was a bit more chilled out. I hung out with Shane, Aleisha and Keith and we went down to the local pub and watched the bogans sing their bogan songs for karaoke. Now, its good for a laugh and that is all... there was many a country song and 80's rock song belted out by some drunk person who forgot the words and couldnt read the prompter...
Midnight and 2009 rolled around and I brought it in with a kiss!
Dont get excited... it was a sloppy and tobacco-flavoured drunk pash from Keith who, as you all would know is as gay as they come... not when drinking however... he likes anything! hahahaha
After discovering that taxis are hard to come by after midnight on new years eve, we decided to walk home from the pub... which is a 40 minute walk!
The next day, I could not move... AT ALL! I walked with a hunch and spent the whole day either in bed or reclining in the lounge room watching Dexter...

[new years photos]

The Zoo

It was one of those childhood memories that always stuck out for me... as I mentioned, we grew up being dirt poor, so when something like a trip to the zoo came along, I knew that my parents had saved and saved to do this. They wanted to give us these memories so that we could look back on our childhood and see that it wasnt all that bad!
So, when Tracey mentioned the zoo, I was really thrilled I was able to go along! I hadn't been since I was about 6 or 7 so, even though I remember the day pretty well, the memory was getting old and faint... To me it was more that 'just a way to spend a day out' it was more like 'reliving a childhood memory that I treasure' and I wasn't disappointed! apart from seeing all of the amazing animals, I got to hold a snake and feed a giraffe! These are some new memories that I am going to look back on in 15 years and smile about... and I have a whole bunch of photos to help my memories stay clear and non-muddled...

[zoo photos]

now, I think I will head off to bed... its late and I am all snoozy...

Love you all!

...Today was frigging awesome!
and I didn't get laughed at, drown or dislocate my shoulder! I didn't even get sunburn! not one tiny bit!

I worry WAY too much! ;-)

now I have to think about what I am to do tonight for new years eve! hmmm...

I am dreading tomorrow... and I will make this short and sweet...

My friend has the great idea to spend her birthday at a waterpark... this means I have to.... I have to SWIM :O
I am SO not into swimming... and I fear the laughter directed at me as I stand there, pale, flabby and legs covered in scars wearing my MEN'S board shorts and rash vest...
the shorts are a size 92... which means my IMMENSE GUT is almost a metre in circumference...
My scars will be showing...
my skin will burn

people will laugh...

"look at the fat emo on a water slide!"

all in all, I cant believe I am paying over $30 to be humiliated... oh PLUS the $35 I spent today for a swimming outfit that covers up my hideous body...

actually, yes I can believe i'd do that... I am a good friend who wants to celebrate a birthday...

*sighs*

I am really happy to share her birthday with her... I haven't shared a birthday with her with no drinking involved! So, I am glad she has considered this place as there is no drinking there :P

                                                                                        .....but still... I hate swimming...

think my subconscious is depressed!

Well, as you all now, I was once an "unhappy chappy"... I was never the most cheerful girl around... I was a suicidalselfharmingdrunkcryingselfhating nutcase! but luckily for me (and for everyone else, I might add) I decided to get better! I got rid of the drinking, stopped the cutting and the suicide attempts, got on the happy-pill bandwagon and had some time with the brainshrinkers.
All in all, I am a very different person to say, even a year ago... I am fun to hang around with and I smile a lot...

so why do I think my subconscious is depressed?

( Read more...BITCHES )